Thursday, February 26, 2009

Engineer? Why not others?

If we assume the chuck load variation to be a normal distribution with the mean value of 70 lbf and standard deviation of 3 lbf, we can then plot out a distribution load curve where the load is split to the top surface of the die and the substrate peripheral area. According to the package level Finite Element Analysis, an even top loading configuration would balance out the reaction force from the bottom and thus reduce the C4 solder joint stress level below 80% of Temp Cycle condition B. With this the Cpk of 1.33 can be achieved without inducing package reliability concern. (this is totally crap XD)

Huh? Don’t understand? Don’t worry. Neither did my boss!

My lovely readers,

I’m an engineer by profession, and I’ve been working as an engineer for >2.5 year ever since I graduated from University. Overall, being an engineer is... ok lar.

Despite my boss doesn’t understand what I’m trying to tell him most of the time;

Despite engineer actually belongs to medium-income group which we can hardly buy a small house in Penang for shelter after owning a car with 9-year installment;

Despite engineer has extremely long working hour where you can ask Putojin for supper, but he will always tell you that he is busy with his work and he has midnight meeting later.

Then why engineer? Why do I still want to be an engineer while there are so many engineers in Penang that a signboard fells would easily kill 9 engineers out of 10 people beneath?

In order to be the 10th, I’ve been thinking of career change recently. But the problem is what else I can do besides an engineer?

It was a day when I went all the way down south to search for the legendary Laksa in Parit Buntar. After I reached there, I found out that it’s actually located amidst the wooden housing estate, accessible only via a small lane. However, no signboard is needed because we can follow the crowd if we have eyes or led by the fragrance even if we are blind (provided our nose is still functioning).

When I reached there, it’d been a long queue. Because of limited space to sit, everyone was queuing to take away the food. I looked at my queue; I was the lucky number 3. I saw the first person in the queue raised his 2 fingers. Then I looked in the big laksa pot, there was still half pot of laksa soup, meaning I should be able to get my laksa before it’s finish.

However, 15mins later, the first person was still standing there until I saw the hawker passed a big plastic bag which contains 20 packets of laksa to him. Then only I realized that his 2 fingers meant 20 packets! After the first person left, the second person raised... 3 fingers!

So I ended up going home empty handed! The key learning is not about I should have gone there earlier, but it's about how abundance a hawker can earn in a day! Imagine each packet of laksa was sold at RM2, the hawker had earned RM100 within half an hour... terror ~

Furthermore, it’s SOHO concept, small office home office! No advertisement needed as the product would speak for itself when the reputation has been built up. The job has short working hour where you can spend the morning to sell your food while the rest of the day in house chores.

Seriously, I've been thinking that being a laksa hawker is indeed not a bad idea ~

Since then, being a laksa hawker had always been planted in my engineer's mind. Until last week I joined the area level international speech contest. I found out another talent that I possess! Which is... I can actually talk nonsense for 7 mins easily, like what I’m doing now, and I have to admit that I can do it quite well because audiences would be attracted and listen to my non-sense, like what you are doing right now. So I started to think what occupation would need this non-sense talking skill the most?

Perhaps you will say Astronaut? No way! RM 8000/hour of lecture fee is way too minute compared to what a... Politician... can earn!! All I have to do is to extend my 7 mins non-sense talking session to a few hours, after that I can sleep in the meeting.

Being a politician is good, other than normal monthly income, government subsidiary in car & housing, politician will also always be fed with “extra income” by doing nothing but simply talking non-sense.

Looking at the job requirement, in Malaysia, this job doesn’t need any higher education background because even a railway gate-keeper can be one (and he owned a palace before he passed away). But the most straight forward method is you can apply the job by simply marrying to another politician’s daughter, it sounds so simple, doesn't it?

Then when we talk about career growth, it’s same like working as an engineer where you can hop to another party when there is an opportunity and immediately... *dang*... you are a millionaire!

But good pay job always comes with drawbacks, else when the signboard falls, it will kill 5 laksa hawkers and 5 politicians out of 10.

If I were a laksa hawker, I might not even sell a bowl of laksa per day! Because I don’t know how to cook laksa, so end up I have to eat all the laksa myself!

If I were a politician, I would be spending one third of my time talking non-sense, another one third of my time to sleep in the meeting, and one third of my time to...
... ...
...
..
.
of course to look for hidden camera lar ~


**Just another speech of mine delivered to complete my humorously speaking manual :)


Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Gift

How I wish I will be paid in writing this article, apparently I’m not a famous columnist, so nobody actually pays me. Therefore I write this in my blog, in the hope that I can grab some attentions then some good readers (like you, you and you) would donate some fund to this blog (because I'm writing it so damn right). I'm desperately needing money lately, due to the coming Valentine's day! (Gosh, it's tomorrow!)

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Have you thought of any idea to surprise your love one yet? A romantic candle light dinner which you would feel like you've eaten nothing at the end? An expensive gift wrapped nicely and hid in a secret place and let your love one discover it by surprise? A romance movie in the cinema which both of you would not understand at the end of the show because you will be busy doing "other things" in the dark theater? All and all, need money!

Yes, love is in the air, so does bad news such as factory shut down, retrenchment, bankruptcy and so forth. During this economy down turn period, every cent counts! Therefore in this article, I would like to share with you some economic ways in selecting a suitable valentine's gift for you love one.

Strategy one. Doing the right thing at the very beginning, which is: Never buy him/her any gift during Valentine’s Day.

It is extremely useful especially when you just started a new relationship. Educate, lecture, comfort, persuade, seduce, or even threaten your partner that Valentine’s day is nothing more than a commercial idea that only the florists/ merchants get all the benefits but both of you get nothing but a super duper expensive dinner, or a bouquet of flower which is double or triple than its original price. Of course, be prepared for all sort of bombardment of reasons and questions, resistance, objections, etc. Therefore, I'm strongly encouraging you to join Toastmasters club, then you can apply all your persuasion skills that you learn from the meeting in this situation. (now you know the reason why I join Toastmasters Club)

However, even the most competent toastmasters that I've ever seen (no, I'm not going to tell it's Putojin) would be able to apply strategy 1 for the first year only! For the subsequent year, he just gives in because he couldn't bear one whole year of mumbling and cursing and swearing and...

Therefore, I would suggest you to try Strategy two if you fail the abovementioned strategy. But I would like to put up a disclaimer here that you should only apply strategy 2 if you fail to implement strategy one, because once you start it, there is no turning back to strategy 1. The strategy is start buying things from small value. The theory is rather simple, all men and women are greedy! Today you buy your partner a cat, next year you will have to buy him/her an elephant. And the graph is exponentially increasing per year! (Graph 1)



Some more, don’t forget that Valentine’s day is not the only day that you should give present, there are still birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Lunar Valentine’s or even pet’s birthday! So your actual spending in gifts should look like Graph 2.



On the contrary, if you buy expensive gifts in the very beginning, then the curve would look like Graph 3.



See the difference? By simply implementing strategy 2, we can chop down the expenses in gifts significantly. Please refer to the shaded area in Graph 3_2 below then you will get what I mean.



Since you can’t avoid giving gifts, why don’t you start from small and save as much as you can. For example, you can start from giving a pencil to your love one... or even better... a box of pencils!!

Well, if you are already in DEEP relationSHITSHIP with your partner and you have been practicing buying expensive gifts all this while (Graph 3). Congratulations and celebrations!! This shows how dump arse loving you are! And you will definitely need strategy 3, which is also the simplest among the 3 -- continuing with it!!! There is no medicine cure for your over-pampered partner. Since you can’t do anything about it, just close your eyes and enjoy being slaughtered every year :)

Truly speaking, I don't think we need a dedicated day to tell our love one how much we love them. In a successful relationship, everyday would be Valentine's Day with only 3 little fundamental principles -- Honesty, Open Communication & Trust. And Honesty always comes first. Therefore being an honest man (and poor) like me, I sincerely hope that this article does entertain you and if you can kindly donate some money to this blog, I'll be more than happy because you know lar... I got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... gifts to buy before Valentine's Day ler...


** Disclaimer **

It was the speech I delivered 2 days ago in the club level contest. Here, I would like clarify that I made up all the contents in this speech, especially on Putojin's part, it's totally fake. Believe me, Putojin is still single and up for grab!! Hoho ~

Btw, I'm really broke liao recently, so if you think it's good, kindly click the advertisement at the side bar. After all, I'm digging my own grave by posting this article one ler :p
...
Oi ~ at least leave a comment or two lar ~



Sunday, February 08, 2009

Cambodia Trip 2009: Day 2

第二天大清早 530am 就从 The Villa 出发了,为的就是 Angkor Wat 的日出!

说实在的,不是很漂亮而已啦~ 但我们拼的就是那一份在千年古庙前的那份特别~



x x x x x

像蛋黄般的太阳提醒了我们还没有吃早餐,所以我们来到了中央市场(Central Market)找吃。

这个市场真的不简单,集中了蔬菜,肉类,熟食,衣物,纪念品,首饰,“美金”... 所有你想找的,都会在这里!

我们的目标当然就是 -- 熟食,以填饱肚子为首要任务!!



我们都吃了好多的食物!因为这里的食物的确不错,也因为我们知道待会儿我们会坐两个小时的车到 Kbal Spean

x x x x x

Kbal Spean 也被称为 The River of Thousand Lingas。

那什么是 Linga 呢?江边鸟是个害羞的鸟,不好意思说,你自己在照片里看吧!~



看到了这么多的 Linga,心中就只有一个字 -- 强!古代的人都很强,一个不满足,要一千个!呵呵~

Trekking 也是很耗力的,所以我们一从 Kbal Spean 出来就随意点了个炒饭来吃,然后由马不停蹄的赶到下一个目的地 -- Banteay Srei



在这里我们看到了完整,没有被河水侵蚀过的 Linga。所以这里的 Linga 都大概有我的一半很雄伟!呵呵。

在这里也跳了两下~~ Puto 说我已经江郎才尽,跳来跳去都是一样的姿势 >_<

x x x x x

我会飞的关系费用的考量,我没有搭上热气球。

但从朋友的照片上看来,高空下的 Angkor Wat 还是一样的庄严壮观~



x x x x x

老人家(江老头)说“吃了鱼头就要吃鱼尾,有头有尾才是好男儿!”

所以我们今天看了日出,当然就要看日落!而最美的日落就在 Phnom Bakheng

老鸟就不多说了,你看了就知道~

**特别谢谢 Photojin 拍的美丽日落

x x x x x

日落后,当然就是天黑了;天黑了,当然就是肚子饿了;肚子饿,当然就是找吃的时候了!!!

回到 The Villa,我们匆匆换洗就出门吃晚餐了。

这里的食物,有点千篇一律,但今晚还是吃了一样很特别的当地食物 -- 鸭蛋!

当然不是普通的鸭蛋,而是受精后即将成型的鸭蛋~

其实我们也很怕的,因为真的不知道会不会习惯那个味道,所以 Hock 和我两条水,决定共享一粒蛋!一人一半,感情不散!

但其实我们的担心是多余的。

虽然你可以看到血丝和羽毛(所以我们选择在比较暗的挡口吃),但其实味道和普通的蛋没什么不同!



x x x x x

那我们是如何结束第二天的呢?

我们之中一批人跑去按摩了,而另一批(我在内)就回到了 The Villa,灌着当地啤酒,慢慢睡去...